I’m not a Feminist, I’m a woman empowered! Two totally different creatures. (Or so I thought)
As we grow there are moments, images, that latch on and guide us in the formation of our understanding of the world around us. For me, one such image is of a pantsuit-wearing, high powered woman who doesn’t allow men to hold doors for her. For me, that was the image of a “man hating feminist”.
Given this visual, by no means have I ever considered myself to be a feminist! I have simply been moving through life teaching myself to become empowered. Raising my children to be empowered. That everyone has the right to be themselves, with no gender biases or lines to stay within.
Yet as I discovered a new singer/songwriter recently, I found myself describing her songs as very feminist. And yet I loved them. Like to my core I loved them. They spoke to me on a primal level. This seeming contradiction of my identity and the definition which had formed when I was younger battling inside my head.
Was I an angry woman? Afterall, that’s what a feminist is, right? How could this be? Is this why no relationship has ever worked out for me? Maybe I have subconsciously always hated men. My brain went into a tailspin of self doubt and loss of identity.
“Breathe.” Sometimes you have to fall apart to see that you actually have it together.
So I researched. I scoured Google for the definition of feminism. This is what I found:
“Quite simply, feminism is about all genders having equal right and opportunities. It’s about respecting diverse women’s experiences, identities, knowledge and strengths, and striving to empower all women to realize their full right.”
Now wait just a minute! That’s not feminism, that’s empowerment. That is what I strive for, imparted to my children, what I try to share through Wild Serenity Healing. That has nothing to do with hating men or being angry or letting go of doors being held open. Oh my! I’m a Feminist! When the hell did that happen?!
So if that is really what feminism is, then what was the image my brain had long ago tethered to the word feminist? Now, this honestly took me more than a minute to dwindle down. I am a product of the 80’s. Coming into adulthood in the early 90’s. Raised by a single mom. A latchkey kid. Pre-technology, social media or influencers. How had my young mind melded such a warped image?
I researched misandry (the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against men). I researched the types of feminism (wondering if the definition was just different back in the 80’s). Paused at benevolent sexism (a subtler form of sexism expressed in a seemingly positive way; and where the door holding image lands- but we will address this more later). What halted me was this gem:
“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourage women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.” — Pat Robertson circa 1990’s
THAT I recognized! I have no idea where or when I heard it, but I recognized it as soon as my eyes danced upon it. That statement had forever drawn a division in my mind between equal rights and feminism. My favorite article on why people think feminists hate men is this article though. I encourage you to give it a read, the author does a great job of breaking the verbage down.
This all had me wondering though if I was the only one with a misconception? Was it generational? So I did what any type A person does, I polled those around me. Of course!
What did I discover? That I was the only one carrying around a misunderstanding of the term feminism. (Sure, the odd duck out again for me).
I’m not upset about it. I am proud that my children have the correct understanding. That those around me consider themselves either feminists of feminist supporters. That for them there is no negative stigma attached. They are not weighed down by those who think as Pat Robertson.
But it also highlights for me that every once in awhile we need to dig deep and question our beliefs, our understanding of things. We need to admit that we all still have learning curves, whether from a misunderstanding, lack of knowledge or familial bias. And we all still have prejudices that we are striving to overcome.
I often write these stories and address Wild Serenity Healing’s social media posts towards women needing to find their personal power. This is a prejudice, that there are no men, trans, non-binary or other people looking to find their own personal power. Today that changes.
If I’m going to be a feminist, then let’s get it right!
May I now and forever be an empowered human who empowers other humans!
Arise WILD!
~Wild Serenity Healing
